Stuff that makes me happy.

May 3, 2011

Filed under: Blog Posts — arschram @ 5:59 am

We all embody  a form of perfection, though it’s often not an easy thing to see. To see our own perfection we must see the perfection in those around us. We must be willing to give ourselves fully to what makes each of us unique. We must nurture our strengths and talents, whatever they might be. To truly give your all in something is perfection and is reflected to the people around you. Rock stars know this. Professional athletes know this. Highly successful businessmen know this. Artists know this. Anyone who has ever done anything great knew that to feel the perfection within themselves, they would need to dedicate themselves. To give themselves fully to whatever it was that made them come alive. Not everyone is an elite athlete. Not everyone is an artistic savant or a professional athlete. But what if you were an elite salesman? A third grade teaching savant? A professional husband? We aren’t all meant for ‘celebrity’ greatness, but there is greatness and perfection in whatever it is we choose to dedicate ourselves to. Funny thing though, by becoming the best at what you do, no matter what it is, you can become famous if that is what you seek. Tattoo artists, pawn shop owners, fitness coaches and handymen all have their own televisions shows. The one commonality is a desire to be the BEST. A dedication to perfecting their craft. People pay to watch these people because they are in complete and utter awe at the magnificence of someone who has dedicated their life to plying their trade.

What do you think the worlds best plumber does for a living? He probably isn’t fixing your clogged toilet. I would guess that he is designing and building the plumbing systems in a nuclear power plant, or something equally important.

“But I’m just a waitress”, you might say. What if you were the best waitress in the world? What restaurants would you serve in? Noma in Denmark? The Fat Duck in the UK? Or perhaps L’Astrance in France? What sorts of tips do you think you would receive on a nightly basis? Certainly more than a $100. $300? $600? $1000? Remember, millionaires and billionaires eat in these places. “Well I’m too fat.” Then get a gym membership! “I’m not pretty enough.” Learn to smile. “I don’t speak french.” One of the easier languages to learn. Remember, you create your own reality. Set out and see it through. Or say “I can’t”.

CAN’T CAN’T CAN’T CAN’T. SHUT UP. The only “can’t” is the can’t that you impose on yourself. You just refuse to see the truth. Because along the way, someone told you that you weren’t good enough and you believed them. Well, I’ll tell you something. They’re the ones who are scared. They can’t handle it. So they bring you down to their level. The fact that someone could be greater than them was a terrifying thought. I’ve run across guys who used to pick on me in high school. Guess what? They’re fat. They still do too many drugs and drink too much beer. They still can’t maintain a relationship nor hold a job. Are you going to let that guy tell you that you aren’t good enough? You’re better than that and I know it.

You just need to decide to be great.

Much love.



Do Unto April 22, 2011

Filed under: Blog Posts — arschram @ 5:22 pm
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I love the old adage “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”. But I believe that’s only part of it. Yes, we should treat others as we wish to be treated, but I think that there is something that’s even more important. “Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.”. Equally important. How often do we give give give to others while giving nothing to ourselves. We do not realize that we MUST love ourselves before we can truly love others. Try as you might you will never find joy in the things you do. You may be successful in a career, but you will not be happy. You may have a successful relationship, but you will not be truly happy in it. Try as you might, something will always be missing.

It is a difficult thing to take time for yourself when there are so many demands on each moment of your day, is it not? Actually, it’s not. There are simpole things that you can do that are just for you and no-one else. A simple one that takes not time, when you get out of the shower don’t t cover yourself in a towel. Take an extra moment to look in the mirror and notice one thing that you like about your body. Remember, there are no flaws. Perfection is what you must see. I don’t even believe in flaws but that’s not the point here. The point is that you must start to see yourself as a perfect physical being. Whatever God you believe in created you to be perfect, did he not? Do you understand the perfect set of coincidences that had to happen for you to even be born? Your parents had to be in the right place at the right time. The right sperm at to make it’s way through, and, as you grew, your mothers habits influenced everything that you would become.

What have you been putting off because someone else already needs your money or time? “But I just don’t have the time” you say. When will you have the time then? Here’s a thought. Stop watching t.v. Just cancel it. There. Problem solved and about 15 hours added to your week. What could you do in 15 hours per week? Write a book? Exercise? Perhaps you want to go back to school or learn to play the guitar? Maybe you just saw the review for a delightful little restaurant and your husband isn’t interested in going. Treat yourself! You deserve it. Maybe you’re interested in martial arts but your wife is intimidated by the idea? That’s fine. Go for it. It’s time for you to look after you.

So what’s my favorite way to treat myself? Get a massage. The touch of another human being is powerful. Especially the touch of someone who is dedicated to the healing arts. Many of us do not get enough physical contact in our daily lives. It is even proven that regular physical contact is a requirement for spiritual and emotional health. Something as simple as a hug can have healing benefits for the mind body and soul that can be far more powerful than any medication.

Should I go on?

Do you compliment yourself? Do you praise yourself for a job well done?

Do you love yourself? In fact, this is bigger than perhaps any other idea here. Look at yourself in the mirror. Really look. Look at your wrinkles, wispy hair, eyelashes and peach fuzz. You need to see yourself through fresh eyes. Pick a body part and focus on it every day until you love it. Every time you look in the mirror make it a point to compliment yourself on that body part. It may take some time but you will begin to love it.

Keep it up!

Peace and love and candy to everyone


Baby Steps to Inner Peace April 20, 2011

Filed under: Blog Posts — arschram @ 4:26 am
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I have a voice that longs to be heard. Peace to be shared. Love to be freely given. My strength is not in myself, but in those who have shared themselves with me.(Get your mind out of the gutter.) It is in the knowledge that peace is attainable and that love is infinite. This is the world that I see and the world that we all deserve to live in.

You may not believe as I do, but I promise you it is true. A friendly hug. A love letter. A hearty laugh. Even a kind thought, kept to yourself and directed at a passing stranger. Love is not meant to be directed at one particular person and it is not a grandiose gesture to be performed from time to time. Each one is a drop in the bucket, but the cumulative effect of which is not seen until the bucket overflows. It is the same with peace. Each of us is no more than a drop. Not particularly noticeable alone and easily burned away by the sun. But as a whole? We become infinitely more powerful. My strength is not in myself, it is in you, as yours is in me. Peace is the movement. Love is the answer.

But we are imperfect creatures in this perfect world. Both you and I take for granted those that we care the most for. We judge before we know. We ignore our own morals and justify it to ourselves. We fail and we fall. And we are lifted up again. We stand and move forward. Unfailingly and courageous. We all have an inner strength that shows itself in times of despair. When the night is blackest, our inner light shines and we are aware that the dwn is soon to break. We know that the night will always come and we know that the sun will always rise again. Yin and yang. There is no love without hurt, for how would we know what love feels like?

We have the strength to change, but to succeed we must accept. You must accept the racist and love them regardless. Accept the murderer the bank robber and the rapist. Have you walked their shoes? do you know the roads they have traveled?

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find sorrow and suffering enough to dispel all hostility.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

If you have not walked that road how could you possibly be the one to pass judgement? I have been abused in every way you can think of. Sexually. Physically. Mentally and emotionally. I have suffered tremendous hurts and yet I refuse to believe that there is anyone beyond help. I believe that I can be an end to the cycle of hatred and violence. If peace doesn’t begin right here and now, where DOES it begin? Forgiveness is divine. Could you forgive? Forgive the man who raped you or the murderer who took the life of the one closest to you? Will carrying the pain  in your heart undo what has been done? No, the only thing it accomplishes is to spread more hate in the world. To prematurely age you and to lessen the quality of your life. To carry hate is to become less than what you deserve to be Forgiveness does not mean to forget or to condone. It is to accept and to let go. Remember though, to forgive does not mean to forget or condone. It is merely letting go. I really truly honestly believe that love can rehabilitate even the most heinous of criminals while hatred does nothing but lessen the quality of your own life. You dampen your own magnificent spirit with hatred and become something less than what you are meant to be.

What if you knew that the man who molested you had lived through war. Watched his friends die around him and his family starve. Been taken in by those who only thought to abuse him and then left him to fend for himself. Would you still hate? Or just might you find some compassion in your heart. Right and wrong is not always a cut and dry matter. Morality comes in shades of gray sometimes, and the best we can do… well… the best we can do is love, and pray that it’s enough.


Music to Heal March 27, 2011

Filed under: Blog Posts — arschram @ 6:18 pm

Music. The one true universal human language. Every country. Every culture. All languages, social backgrounds, vocations and places in society. From the most powerful leaders to the lowliest of slaves. We use music to illuminate. To speak. To tell stories and to celebrate. To dream and to pray. A scene in a movie can be made infinitely more powerful when scored with the right music. We have music that reminds us of our first kiss, or the first time we made love to our significant others. A song can bring back wonderful memories.

For myself, music has been a very powerful thing. When I was first coming out of my depression, I was sitting in my car when the song Moments by Emerson Drive came on. For the first time in ten years I cried. Since I was a young teenager I had been suppressing my emotions. When I would become emotional I would just drink or abuse myself physically to distract from those emotions. But here I was, sitting alone in my car. I wanted to change the song but I couldn’t and then there was a release… a weight off of my shoulders by the end of the song that I just couldn’t describe. Shortly after that time I quit drinking as a crutch. I was suddenly able to go out and only have one beer. I could sit at home and not feel tempted to drink. All because of one song.

I believe, as do many others, that everything that exists in the universe is energy. When you break it down, we are made of the same stuff as the sun and the same stuff as that chair that you’re sitting on. Music is the same. It is energy. You may not be able to see it, but you can feel it’s vibrations around you. Such is the phrase, “let the music wash over you”. Like a great tidal wave, that sonic energy can wash away all weariness. The thing about energy is that it affects other energy. Just as radiation can affect your cells, so too can music. At an even deeper level, I believe that different tones can have different effects. For instance, the difference in feelings that you get between listening to a band like Slayer and a band like The Beatles. I’ll just say that I’ve rarely met an aggressive Beatles fan.

Another factor, and what I think is most important, is the intention that the music was created with and the passion and creative ENERGY that went into creating that music. You might have noticed it yourself. We have all found a piece of music outside of our preferred genre that spoke to us. We just felt that we knew exactly what the artist was thinking and feeling when they wrote it. For a moment we knew the deepest parts of their souls. That’s the music that can capture a heart and lift a spirit. I believe that this is the purpose of music. What happens when there is a natural disaster or a great loss of life? Within days there are benefit concerts announced. Musicians offer the proceeds from their album sales to help those who were affected. In the disaster areas, people often play their music in the streets. I always remember the scene from a movie that I’m unable to remember of a violinist playing in the middle of a bombed out Berlin at the end of World War II. Another is the scene from Titanic in which the band has accepted their fate and continue to play their music even as the ship sinks beneath them.

So make a playlist of music that moves you. Listen to it every day. Don’t worry, you’ll never become bored with these songs if they are the right ones. And if you do become bored with them, it’s working, and you’ve realized a change. Find new songs that reflect the new you or the you that you want to become and make a new playlist. Use the music to grow.

Happy listening


Peace and love and adorable kittens.


Love and the Law of Attraction March 19, 2011

Filed under: Blog Posts — arschram @ 9:25 pm
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We all want more love in our lives. More laughter. More intimacy. More passion in our interpersonal lives. And like the bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, we are blind to what’s right in front of our eyes.

For many years I lived a very lonely existence. Distant relationships with family. Friends who were not friends. A social circle that wasn’t much of a circle. More of an oblong shape than anything. My nights were spent alone, in darkness.

I was miserable because I felt alone and I was alone because I felt miserable. It was a vicious cycle, as the saying goes.

Overcoming this was a years long ordeal and all of the changes that I had to make will be shared in coming posts, but for now I’d like to relate my search for love directly to the Law Of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction is a fickle thing. You cannot force it or bend it to your will. It has a will of it’s own, wherein you play your part. Trying to control it and force the things that you want to manifest is like trying to force a cow to jump through a flaming hoop. It is simply an exercise in futility. When you simply allow it to do it’s thing, it’s truly amazing to behold.

Since I became aware of the Law, I’ve been trying to understand it and know it’s intricacies and how to “make it work. I’ve had on and off success, often with small things. Perhaps thinking of a song I haven’t heard in years, I would suddenly have the urge to listen to a new radio station and voila. Or setting out to find an old friend from a different part of Canada 20 years ago and, through a series of amazing coincidences, finding them living not a few blocks from me. These are just some of the events that have proven to me that the Law of Attraction truly exists.

Now, last year at about this time (That would be 2010) I had managed to get under my control some of the issues that I had been dealing with over the last few years, and now I needed a new goal. That goal was to attract more love. Don’t get me wrong, I was living with my best friends at the time and we dearly love each other. I was looking for something deeper though. So I made a solid decision. Not just thought about wanting. Really decided, that I wanted more and deeper love in my life.

During that time, my13 year old brother was in and out of the local childrens hospital, eventually being diagnosed with severe colitis. It was difficult time for my family, and the fact that I lived almost an hour from them made things even tougher.

Things started to change for me about a month after I made the decision to have more love. My mother had just bought a second house for my sister and nephew to live in with a friend of hers. They began doing their renovations to get things ready and eventually I was recruited to help. Suddenly, I was spending every weekend with my mother, stepfather, sister and nephew. After I moved out of my parents home I began to drift from those relationships when I moved into the city, got a job and began working long hours. It felt good to reconnect with my family after all this time. Shortly after beginning renovations, my sisters roommate to be backed out of their arrangement and so I was offered the suit that we were building in the basement. I was fairly comfortable living with my friends in the city but this just felt right, and so I took up the offer. And so now I was living with my sister and young nephew, only a few minutes from my father and sick brother.

About a month before the house was ready my brother was admitted again to the hospital with complications and severe symptoms of his disease, and within weeks we were told that he was going to have his large intestine removed. And so I decided that I wanted to be there when he got home. I told my friends that I would be moving out within the month and asked my father if I could have the spare room for a time. So I moved home for 2 weeks, was there while my brother recovered and then moved into my new place with my sister 2 weeks later.

When I made my decision, I had been thinking more about romantic love and it took me some time to realize what had happened. I got what I TRULY wanted. I renewed and deepened relationships with everyone in my family. I’ve been watching my nephew while my sister goes to school and I really enjoy that. When a child hugs you with love it’s a really wonderful feeling. I sit and chat with my sister when she gets home late at night and that’s something that we have never done. I can call up my brother and go over any time I want. I’ve even cultivated a relationship with my father whom I harbored a lot of resentment towards. We’ve gone to concerts together and sometimes just sit and talk. I never thought that this would happen. I’ve spent more time with my mother in the last year than I did in possibly the last 15 years. This is the love that I really desired.

My relationships with my friends have also deepened. I’ve made new ones and left behind the ones that did not vibe with where my life was headed. I have really been blessed by love and though it isn’t exactly what I had in mind, like I said, it’s exactly what wanted in my heart.

The universe knows EXACTLY what’s in your heart. It knows what you really mean when you decide what you want. You just have to go with the flow.


Peace and love and kinder surprises to you all.


I Am Alive March 16, 2011

Filed under: Blog Posts — arschram @ 2:44 am
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Well, this is my first real blog post. I suppose I should begin with my own personal story.

I had originally written this article as an almost life story. I wrote about the emotional and traumatic experiences of my childhood. I had wanted to give an intimate look into the events that shaped me, but reading back, I started to feel uneasy. Not so much about the airing of the laundry, but how it would affect the people involved. Someday I would like to give detailed accounts of my life but I would like the blessings of the people involved before I share those events.

So, for the time being I’ll give you the point form version.

Actually… screw it. I’m happy. Right here and right now. The past is the past and there is no sense in dwelling. Awful things happened, yes.  De past can hurt. But de way I see it, you can eitha run from it. Or… Learn from it! (First person to name the movie gets a $10 gift card for Starbucks and a box ‘o love!)

I do believe that it’s important to heed the past, but dwelling on it helps no-one. Harboring all the pain and guilt and frustration helps no-one! Does it make you feel good? I doubt it. Does dwelling on revenge and hate make the world a better place? Does reliving those memories increase your own quality of life? Your an idiot if you think so.

What is RIGHT? Right now is what is right. Not yesterday and not tomorrow. This one magnificent moment. This second in time that will never exist again in all the ages of the cosmos. (Unless of course we find a way to travel through time, then my point is moot.) This is quite honestly the most important thing that I did to overcome my depression. I live in the moment. Some people call me impulsive. I call it living life. When I get the urge to go for a walk, I do it. Even if I’m in the middle of washing dishes. When I have the urge to go on an adventure in search of coffee at 10pm on a Tuesday night when I know I have to work at 6 in the morning, I find that coffee. I sing The Beatles “Here Comes The Sun” in lineups. I break out in spontaneous song and dance in the crosswalk. I am alive.

I am alive and I live in this moment.

Peace and love and happiness and unicorns and rainbows to you all.


Wowzers… That post took a bit of  a turn. At least it keeps things interesting!