I love you.
When it comes to personal development, there is almost never a ‘eureka’ moment. Self improvement is about baby steps. It’s about doing the little things, day in and day out. Much like when you lose weight, because you see yourself in a mirror every day, you don’t realize just how big the transformation is until you run into someone whom you haven’t seen in a long time.
Remember, just because you aren’t noticing the changes, it doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been any change. Keep on keeping on my friend, and you will eventually become that which you desire to become.
Music to Heal March 27, 2011
Music. The one true universal human language. Every country. Every culture. All languages, social backgrounds, vocations and places in society. From the most powerful leaders to the lowliest of slaves. We use music to illuminate. To speak. To tell stories and to celebrate. To dream and to pray. A scene in a movie can be made infinitely more powerful when scored with the right music. We have music that reminds us of our first kiss, or the first time we made love to our significant others. A song can bring back wonderful memories.
For myself, music has been a very powerful thing. When I was first coming out of my depression, I was sitting in my car when the song Moments by Emerson Drive came on. For the first time in ten years I cried. Since I was a young teenager I had been suppressing my emotions. When I would become emotional I would just drink or abuse myself physically to distract from those emotions. But here I was, sitting alone in my car. I wanted to change the song but I couldn’t and then there was a release… a weight off of my shoulders by the end of the song that I just couldn’t describe. Shortly after that time I quit drinking as a crutch. I was suddenly able to go out and only have one beer. I could sit at home and not feel tempted to drink. All because of one song.
I believe, as do many others, that everything that exists in the universe is energy. When you break it down, we are made of the same stuff as the sun and the same stuff as that chair that you’re sitting on. Music is the same. It is energy. You may not be able to see it, but you can feel it’s vibrations around you. Such is the phrase, “let the music wash over you”. Like a great tidal wave, that sonic energy can wash away all weariness. The thing about energy is that it affects other energy. Just as radiation can affect your cells, so too can music. At an even deeper level, I believe that different tones can have different effects. For instance, the difference in feelings that you get between listening to a band like Slayer and a band like The Beatles. I’ll just say that I’ve rarely met an aggressive Beatles fan.
Another factor, and what I think is most important, is the intention that the music was created with and the passion and creative ENERGY that went into creating that music. You might have noticed it yourself. We have all found a piece of music outside of our preferred genre that spoke to us. We just felt that we knew exactly what the artist was thinking and feeling when they wrote it. For a moment we knew the deepest parts of their souls. That’s the music that can capture a heart and lift a spirit. I believe that this is the purpose of music. What happens when there is a natural disaster or a great loss of life? Within days there are benefit concerts announced. Musicians offer the proceeds from their album sales to help those who were affected. In the disaster areas, people often play their music in the streets. I always remember the scene from a movie that I’m unable to remember of a violinist playing in the middle of a bombed out Berlin at the end of World War II. Another is the scene from Titanic in which the band has accepted their fate and continue to play their music even as the ship sinks beneath them.
So make a playlist of music that moves you. Listen to it every day. Don’t worry, you’ll never become bored with these songs if they are the right ones. And if you do become bored with them, it’s working, and you’ve realized a change. Find new songs that reflect the new you or the you that you want to become and make a new playlist. Use the music to grow.
Peace and love and adorable kittens.
When I’ve been in the depths of despair, I have prayed for my friends success, love, happiness and prosperity. I do this because sometimes it is very difficult for me to see my own worth and to pray for myself with love. However, it is very easy for me to pray for my friends with love. It is very easy for me to inject passion into what I want my friends to accomplish. I’ve done this for Mike, Debby, Andi, Darren, Jessica, my sister and many others. It feels good. It lifts my spirits and things begin to change. I am given opportunities that I were not there before and I receive more love in return. My life improves almost immediately in every way, almost magically.
Remember, when you give with love, the universe pays you back tenfold. Without fail, every time.
We are not SUPPOSED to do anything. Society has somehow conditioned us into these mindless husks. Let me explain what our culture says is proper for and the right way to live a good life. We go to school, study hard, get into a great college, study even harder, get hired on at a large company with great benefits, start our march up the corporate ladder, meet a mate, buy a house, apply for credit cards, buy a car, buy furniture, maintain good credit, have children, work harder, bla bla bla retire at 65. This defines success. But you know what? When I meet most of these people, they aren’t happy. I say most, not all. To those who are happy with this path, all power to you. I truly mean that. Bust to those that didn’t think this way, they wanted to travel the world. They wanted to play in a band or fly to the moon. And someone told them they couldn’t. So they didn’t. That’s not fucking success. To be true to yourself is success. To live a life of passion is success. The world could be an even more magnificent place if we all lived from our passionate hearts. At least, that’s what I believe.
We spend our lives searching for this great meaning. For some esoteric definition of what we are supposed to do with our lives. There is only one answer. That is Love. No matter where we go. No matter what we do or who we meet we must do it with love and meet them with love. And through love the world is changed. Little by little each one of us does our part. And little by little each of us can shift the consciousness of the world. Direct your love at someone who has wronged you. Direct it at someone who has wronged someone else. They are most in need of it. Direct your love at a beautiful piece of art. A passionately written song or a wonderful piece of literature. The more we do this, the more that these incredible things will present themselves to us.
Love and the Law of Attraction March 19, 2011
We all want more love in our lives. More laughter. More intimacy. More passion in our interpersonal lives. And like the bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, we are blind to what’s right in front of our eyes.
For many years I lived a very lonely existence. Distant relationships with family. Friends who were not friends. A social circle that wasn’t much of a circle. More of an oblong shape than anything. My nights were spent alone, in darkness.
I was miserable because I felt alone and I was alone because I felt miserable. It was a vicious cycle, as the saying goes.
Overcoming this was a years long ordeal and all of the changes that I had to make will be shared in coming posts, but for now I’d like to relate my search for love directly to the Law Of Attraction.
The Law of Attraction is a fickle thing. You cannot force it or bend it to your will. It has a will of it’s own, wherein you play your part. Trying to control it and force the things that you want to manifest is like trying to force a cow to jump through a flaming hoop. It is simply an exercise in futility. When you simply allow it to do it’s thing, it’s truly amazing to behold.
Since I became aware of the Law, I’ve been trying to understand it and know it’s intricacies and how to “make it work. I’ve had on and off success, often with small things. Perhaps thinking of a song I haven’t heard in years, I would suddenly have the urge to listen to a new radio station and voila. Or setting out to find an old friend from a different part of Canada 20 years ago and, through a series of amazing coincidences, finding them living not a few blocks from me. These are just some of the events that have proven to me that the Law of Attraction truly exists.
Now, last year at about this time (That would be 2010) I had managed to get under my control some of the issues that I had been dealing with over the last few years, and now I needed a new goal. That goal was to attract more love. Don’t get me wrong, I was living with my best friends at the time and we dearly love each other. I was looking for something deeper though. So I made a solid decision. Not just thought about wanting. Really decided, that I wanted more and deeper love in my life.
During that time, my13 year old brother was in and out of the local childrens hospital, eventually being diagnosed with severe colitis. It was difficult time for my family, and the fact that I lived almost an hour from them made things even tougher.
Things started to change for me about a month after I made the decision to have more love. My mother had just bought a second house for my sister and nephew to live in with a friend of hers. They began doing their renovations to get things ready and eventually I was recruited to help. Suddenly, I was spending every weekend with my mother, stepfather, sister and nephew. After I moved out of my parents home I began to drift from those relationships when I moved into the city, got a job and began working long hours. It felt good to reconnect with my family after all this time. Shortly after beginning renovations, my sisters roommate to be backed out of their arrangement and so I was offered the suit that we were building in the basement. I was fairly comfortable living with my friends in the city but this just felt right, and so I took up the offer. And so now I was living with my sister and young nephew, only a few minutes from my father and sick brother.
About a month before the house was ready my brother was admitted again to the hospital with complications and severe symptoms of his disease, and within weeks we were told that he was going to have his large intestine removed. And so I decided that I wanted to be there when he got home. I told my friends that I would be moving out within the month and asked my father if I could have the spare room for a time. So I moved home for 2 weeks, was there while my brother recovered and then moved into my new place with my sister 2 weeks later.
When I made my decision, I had been thinking more about romantic love and it took me some time to realize what had happened. I got what I TRULY wanted. I renewed and deepened relationships with everyone in my family. I’ve been watching my nephew while my sister goes to school and I really enjoy that. When a child hugs you with love it’s a really wonderful feeling. I sit and chat with my sister when she gets home late at night and that’s something that we have never done. I can call up my brother and go over any time I want. I’ve even cultivated a relationship with my father whom I harbored a lot of resentment towards. We’ve gone to concerts together and sometimes just sit and talk. I never thought that this would happen. I’ve spent more time with my mother in the last year than I did in possibly the last 15 years. This is the love that I really desired.
My relationships with my friends have also deepened. I’ve made new ones and left behind the ones that did not vibe with where my life was headed. I have really been blessed by love and though it isn’t exactly what I had in mind, like I said, it’s exactly what wanted in my heart.
The universe knows EXACTLY what’s in your heart. It knows what you really mean when you decide what you want. You just have to go with the flow.
Peace and love and kinder surprises to you all.
I Am Alive March 16, 2011
Well, this is my first real blog post. I suppose I should begin with my own personal story.
I had originally written this article as an almost life story. I wrote about the emotional and traumatic experiences of my childhood. I had wanted to give an intimate look into the events that shaped me, but reading back, I started to feel uneasy. Not so much about the airing of the laundry, but how it would affect the people involved. Someday I would like to give detailed accounts of my life but I would like the blessings of the people involved before I share those events.
So, for the time being I’ll give you the point form version.
Actually… screw it. I’m happy. Right here and right now. The past is the past and there is no sense in dwelling. Awful things happened, yes. De past can hurt. But de way I see it, you can eitha run from it. Or… Learn from it! (First person to name the movie gets a $10 gift card for Starbucks and a box ‘o love!)
I do believe that it’s important to heed the past, but dwelling on it helps no-one. Harboring all the pain and guilt and frustration helps no-one! Does it make you feel good? I doubt it. Does dwelling on revenge and hate make the world a better place? Does reliving those memories increase your own quality of life? Your an idiot if you think so.
What is RIGHT? Right now is what is right. Not yesterday and not tomorrow. This one magnificent moment. This second in time that will never exist again in all the ages of the cosmos. (Unless of course we find a way to travel through time, then my point is moot.) This is quite honestly the most important thing that I did to overcome my depression. I live in the moment. Some people call me impulsive. I call it living life. When I get the urge to go for a walk, I do it. Even if I’m in the middle of washing dishes. When I have the urge to go on an adventure in search of coffee at 10pm on a Tuesday night when I know I have to work at 6 in the morning, I find that coffee. I sing The Beatles “Here Comes The Sun” in lineups. I break out in spontaneous song and dance in the crosswalk. I am alive.
I am alive and I live in this moment.
Peace and love and happiness and unicorns and rainbows to you all.
Wowzers… That post took a bit of a turn. At least it keeps things interesting!